[ETA: Today is Tuesday 4/5/11. This was supposed to get done Sunday 4/3/11 gut thanks to LJ breaking down this is the first time in days I could post anything. I have no updates for today. Will try again tomorrow.]

I am back! Well I’m going to try to be. I specifically decided not to post on here because I wanted to go back and organize my stuff by ( Read more... )

Things I accomplished today:

Not one damn thing. I actually went to bed/sleep early last night (11:30pm). I got a sufficient amount of sleep and woke up around 7:00am. Even though I was awake, that early in the morning I have no desire or ambition to get my ass out of bed. I turn on the Law & Order mini marathon on TNT and wrap myself in my ( Read more... )

Yes it’s been 28 days since my last post. Here is my catch up rant ( Read more... )

It is (technically) Thursday at just a little after 4:00am when I start this. What have I done since last Friday or the last time I posted which was actually Monday around this time? Not a damn fucking thing. Not anything remotely what I should be doing. I am in total blank mode, numb mode, nothingness mode, whatever it can be called. Depression, ( Read more... )

I’m not sure it’s really sunk it yet that I have no job to wake up for and go to tomorrow. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the time off. I’ll try my best not to be too lazy tomorrow though I’m guessing that’ll be easier said than done. I didn’t do one damn thing this weekend except eat (had to have my pizza Sunday in case it’s ( Read more... )

Things are not good. On the outside things have not broken down. I still have an apartment, utilities are all on including the heat, I have food and all my basic necessities. And money in the bank. For now. On the inside though, in my head, it’s slowly starting to get worse. I try very hard to keep my thoughts from spiraling out of control but it ( Read more... )

So I'm not doing so good keep up with this journal and I need to change that. I need to change a lot of things but I really need to try harder with getting my act together. I'm letting days go by and not making any progress toward a better life for myself. Cleaning my apartment, though commendable, is pretty low on the totem pole of those things I ( Read more... )

Note: I began writing this Sunday night and saved it. I'm just now in the mood to get back to it which basically means I've been neglecting this journal for 4 days or so. Boo! to me for skipping out and not following through. I could use the excuse that the Memorial Day Holiday messed up my equilibrium but I just lost my motivation the past few ( Read more... )

It's Friday night and I just came up with the title for my journal entry from 2 days ago. It's 11:27pm as I write this sentence and I'm actually pretty damn tired. It's the start of Memorial Day Weekend when everyone but me actually has plans. As usual. I really should be used to this by now and on one level I am. On another level I'm becoming ( Read more... )

So much for consistency. I told myself I had a valid reason Wednesday & Thursday as I my mind was just too full from the season finales of Lost & Grey's Anatomy. Then Friday came along and it was the weekend and I got lazy again. I know in my head that the laziness is not because I'm so tired from the work week even though that's how I rationalize ( Read more... )